Little bit too late

so i have this aunt , who is in my age and think she is all that but in fact she isn't . she think she is god gift to the men but like i highly doubt they want somebody that done what she's done .

And it kills me , that she know what she done because i am highly doubt that she though it wore wrong when see made the unforgivable thing and went to an wedding and danced meanwhile her mother lay on death bed .

I mean , who does that ? I guess , she always been daddy's girl and i remember she hated my grandmother origin . Now , as a grown up it has been trendy to have different cultures she tried to erase the past and embrace her finnish side but its a little bit too late …

the traitor

i don't need no drama . save that to your baby mama

what kinda dumb bitch shoot an friend in her back

now i know better and realize you just wore an traitor

what comes around , goes around

and you will never go safe and sound

because karma has an way to comeback

when you at least expect

i might , take your apology an run with it

but before you owe your shit

the trust is limited

and

remember that karma has no deadline

one day you will pay the ultimate fine

with not having a friend

like me in the end …

Bittersweet feeling

As i continue ranting on my relatives for not knowing what right from wrong . I mean, on paper everything is very simple but when it comes to our family - nothing ever is ! There are jealousy when it should be support, lack of sympathy , emotions and empathy between certain people and its all directed to me because i have been travel the world . I mean , you would think they would ask how it was but after went on a world tour nobody wondered how its was . The envy in their eyes has now appear and the bittersweet feeling of not longer being on top . Especially for one of my aunt and it must suck . That her niece that is sick get get everything that SHE want !

My dysfunction family tree

i been told to keep quit because they shake in their boots and are scared for what i will write but after all they done i don't see why i should kept their secrets i know about them. After all you should be able to express yourself but if your surroundings only want to drag you down why would you do the  best for them when them don't return the favor ?

They are so selfish , egosentnentic and lacking in both empathy / symphany . When i wore little i looked up to everyone . My fashionable aunt , my cool cousin and his funny dad but now i realize that just because you got wear beautiful clothes it doesn't mean you wear i beautiful heart and my cousin and i , have grew apart meanwhile his funny dad was never "funny".

My other aunt has always been the one i wanted to hang with but never got to be introduced to her friends because she wore ashamed of me or something and my uncle , seem like he jealous at me . I know , this is an very dysfunctional family three i got but i apparently got cut of one of the branches like i wore nothing worth but you shouldn't done that because you now me and i have am never stand off from telling the truth about that got exposed when my grandmother passed away …

Go to hell

time is then ultimate truth-teller , which is unfortunately for you guys who have cut me out from everything but lets face it what could i except , you already seclude me from the events when i wore an child . you would think that people who is older then me got some braincells but apparently no . i guess, i wore the only one who got them ! When the judgement days comes , there only God you have to answer to and i don't think he would be very happy for what you done towards a girl like me . Do you have any conscience ? Time will tell but there only one place for people like you and its in hell …

Karma has an deadline …

Don't you think for an second that what you done will comeback at you because karma has no deadline which is both reassuring and frightening . I mean, walking around on eggshells your whole life because something you did way back , there will consequences for your actions bet on it ! The thing is my relatives never got this . They just walk through life with tunnel seeing and is pretty much oblivion to the world outside their own . Its mind blowing how they can be so caught up in their own problems and not giving an helping an hand to an relative . Last year , wore the icing on the cake and i knew i had to break up with them , sadly they had got the same idea …

Perfect target

i begin bullied by one of my teacher . I know a lot about bulling because i been the target in every school i went to . I am not sure why but i learned somethings and that is the seclusion is always because teacher begin to point out and make remark which the students caught on . Not only have i been the object for bulling in school , i have also been that in the family tree and become painted as the black sheep when i am the most innocent one of the bunch . Maybe i became the perfect target because of jealousy of my clothes or maybe they tried to push me down because i wore epileptic but shouldn't you lift those that wore laying on the rock bottom and have a hard time but for my relatives it wore perfectly fine , to pick on me like i wore nothing worth …

Pain in the ass

The thing is that i wore born healthy as an peach and wore pretty popular in school, until i wore eight when i became diagnosed as epilepsy which is an neurologic illness . Invisible to the eye but underneath which is the pain in the ass .

You would think that your relatives would give you a little sympathy or empathy but not when it comes to my aunts which make me sad because you would think relatives would be supportive and comfort you but hell no ! I am not sure why they choose this path to seclude me from the family events and make me feel like i am nothing worth . Now that i have grown up i realize that it wore fucked up they treat me as an condition and not an human ...

Wicked Games

there was never an friendship between my youngest aunt and me because she sat on her high horses and look down on me when i got diagnosed with my epilepsy . Like i wore an illness that she could get she refused to made an effort which is sad because i always looked up to her . As she wore some years older then me, i always wanted to get introduced to her friends but she never did which made me feel like i wore abnormal and secluded from everything .

Not only became i bullied in school , i became emotional tormented of her , the girl i used to admire but know i knew how twisted our relationship wore, as a kid i though this wore the normal standard but as i grew up i knew better because a family should be supportive but our never wore who courage me to become better but nobody never did except my grandma and my mother !

What comes around goes around

even if my heart goes out to the rest of my relatives , they didn't have the right to do that . I am specially  angry at my youngest aunt, who we gave a several hints on how to manage the death accommodation but because of jealousy, unhealthy economical she choose money before relatives . I mean , who does that ? Its in the law that every child should get what they want but because my mother and her really got along, she got and advocate in that made it impossible to prove that her wrong but in the end, karma will get you because it doesn't have an deadline because what comes around , goes around …

The last time

I could feel it when i entered the church last year and got a hug from the ugly skeleton in black coat while she met us in the entrance . it was like seeing a ghost , pale as the moon and the haunted thought of that she had been on wedding while her mother past away made me furious . Who is dancing away the night when you know this might be the last year with your mother ? I tried to calm myself because she have a way by making me always upset and went in to the church where my other relatives sat . Nobody said anything . Suddenly the preacher began to speak , he look like an character from Steven King and i couldn't wait to get out from the funeral from hell . This would also be, the last time i saw my relatives , or that was what i thought …

Memorabilia

They rob us from the grieving process which they never invite my mother to pick and choose from her belongings because of jealousy and didn't let her heal in the right way . I would be perfectly fine with letting her inherit my grandmother belongings , of all the children that she had i knew she wouldn't let any other children have any memorabilia of the mother because she never though of her siblings as hers perhaps i didn't got something to remember by my grandma but i can comfort myself that i got most memories of her and spent most time with her, after all isn't that better then silver wear ?

Nail in the cuffin

the only person that been one my side in this story is my grandma , if she knew that my relatives cut me out and literally have nobody except my mother , she would turn herself in the grave. its clear that one of my aunt consider herself the only child which isn't true because theres five and i remember the funeral so well , which you wrote an very confusing speech about how much you loved your mother but then the wore several errors which made me flinch and you cant edit the truth , i wore there when you complained on her , smirk and made her feel worthless - and the same to her man , she wore an cancer patient and you should done everything for her . The dish washing , come with food and etc .

if you care for somebody thats what you do , care for the persons wellbeing ! What i most cant except is how selfish you guys took the dividing of her estate and things . Thats was my GRANDMA, and i got nothing left off her but then again , you guys wore my half relatives but i didn't except you to be thieves ...

Families ties

i always thought that an family should stand behind you , loyal with high moral .

so i was blinded by mine until one day when they cut every ties 

with me and i didn't know what i done more then got caught in their lies … 

thinking i could fit in the family tree 

always wanted their approval and did my best to become " normal " 

but lets face it, they would always look at me like i wore strange and abnormal .

Like i wore the rotten apple fallen from the tree , the bad seed 

but i know secrets about my relatives and know that i am off my meeds 

am not afraid to expose their true colors …